How To Be An Empowering Courage Queen.
When we love someone dearly, it is understandable that we worry about him or her. We can over analyse a situation trying to find a solution for the person we care about. We can make suggestions, offer financial support, give mental strategies to help and before we know it, our life has become consumed about THEIR life challenges.
However an important point for us Courage Queens to realise is the responsibility lies with the other person to resolve or change their situation, not us.
For whatever reason others choose not to change their unhappy situations and this is their choice. This maybe due to fear being a blocker or they simply believe they are not worthy of having an improved situation or there may be some positive payoffs to the situation.
As a consenting adult others have a right to behave in a way he or she chooses. However if his or her choices are affecting you, such as they are borrowing money, or constantly bemoaning their situation then this is not acceptable as it could be affecting your mental health.
So I recommend you take a step back and think about the following.
- Reassure the other person that you know he or she has the ability to turn this situation around and you love and believe in them very much to do this. Your task here is to empower them to learn they can handle life. You are helping them to take responsibility which is a huge gift.
- You may need to set some boundaries, such as not lending him or her any money or not listening to him or her constantly moaning. Remember if you set a boundary you have to stick to it.
- Recommend he or she reaches out for help – such as seeking help from organisations which help people get back into work for example. Alternatively they may need some psychological or emotional help such as seeing a coach or referral from a Dr. to a qualified professional.
- Suggest they visit a library or a bookshop to borrow or buy books on building self-confidence. Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway® by Dr Susan Jeffers is a classic or they can buy my book, How to be a Courage Queen from www.couragequeen.com.
- Look at how you can bring more pleasure and enjoyment into your life so you can allow others to explore their own journey whilst you enjoy
Once you have made some of these suggestions to him or her, hand over responsibility so they can choose which one he or she wants to do.
Remember if he or she chooses none of the above, then accepting they are choosing to do nothing to change the situation is a reality you may need to accept. If they don’t want to change the situation, then let it go and focus on yourself.