“If the thought of going without alcohol for the rest of your life makes you tense up, then you are reliant on it”
Jason Vale – ‘Kick The Drink Easily’
Ouch – painful but powerful! This struck a chord with me, what about you?
After waking up to a particularly bad hangover, I knew something had to change. A friend had recommended Vale’s book to me, telling me it had stopped his brother from drinking. Finding all the courage I could, I took the book with me on holiday.
I had been an alcohol drinker for thirty years and I don’t mind admitting, the thought of stopping scared me senseless! However, the book resonated so much that on my return I committed to stop drinking (much to the amusement of family and friends!)
So why did the book have such a powerful effect? Well, firstly I realised drinking alcohol was simply a form of ‘self-harm’. You may think self-harm is a strong word to use but once I learned how poisonous alcohol was to my body and mental state, I realised harming myself is exactly what I was doing.
When I stopped and reflected on why I was drinking alcohol, it was usually to make a bad day better or make a good time more fun, but after reading the amazing book I learned how alcohol was simply an illusion, a social construct I had been conned by. In reality, alcohol was sabotaging my health, happiness and future.
Here are ten ways the book changed my thinking.
1. Alcohol is a poison so why put poison in my body? I learned alcohol is not a ‘treat’ and never was, I had just been taught to think that.
(It took me a while to accept this as truth as I had been conditioned by society to believe I ‘deserved’ to have a few vodka and cokes at the end of a ‘hard’ week but, the next morning didn’t feel such a treat!)
2.If I think I need alcohol to have a ‘good time’ then I need to re-think where I am going and who I am going with. I learned if I needed to be tipsy or drunk to make a person, place or situation more enjoyable, then surely it can’t be that much fun in the first place.
3.If I need alcohol to help me relax, then I’m working too hard, and would benefit from finding more natural ways to relax. Alcohol is a stimulant and therefore not an authentic way to relax.
4.If I need alcohol to give me confidence in social situations, then I need to improve my confidence and become more fearless.
5.If I need alcohol to cheer myself up, then I need to reflect on what is making me feel low. Next identify if I can change this. I also learned it is okay to let sad feelings out and not simply numb them with alcohol.
6.If I need alcohol to celebrate something then I need to re-think why I would celebrate something by putting poison in my body, causing me ill-health and possible problems in the future. I learned celebrating with alcohol was simply another social construct I thought was the truth.
7.If I think I need alcohol to make my day or week better, then alcohol has control over me. I wouldn’t let anyone else have this control over me, so why would I let a liquid have that power over me?
8.Why would I spend all week exercising and then put all those calories back on through drinking and eating unhealthy food to curb my hangover cravings?
9.Loving myself means being careful what I put into my body and not willingly causing myself alcoholic anxiety, paranoia, sweats or jitters. If alcohol was good for me, then it wouldn’t cause me to feel these things.
10.And finally, and probably the most important reason I stopped drinking alcohol was this…I didn’t want my young son watching me and learning you need alcohol to make life on planet Earth more fun or manageable in some way.
I didn’t want to put him at risk of addiction and wanted him to learn more positive coping mechanisms which would protect, not harm his mental, spiritual and physical health. Alcohol has been linked to causing cancer so why would I want him or me at increased risk of suffering from this?
I learned I had to stop thinking alcohol added to my life in some way and realise it was stopping me from achieving personal and professional success.
You may not want to cut alcohol from your diet totally, but maybe you want to cut it down and not rely on it to make you feel less stressed. Ask yourself, why do you need alcohol to temporarily change your reality … maybe your time would be better spent changing your reality permanently.
Giving up alcohol is one of the most empowering and liberating choices I have ever made, and yes, I am still lots of fun, in fact, more fun as I am now fully conscious!
I understand life may feel like a struggle sometimes and that alcohol somehow takes away a little bit of this suffering. I understand, because this was my mindset and didn’t realise this is why I drank alcohol.
I once thought people who didn’t drink alcohol were ‘boring’ in some way, yet the opposite can be true, they are often the most confident people who can cope with whatever happens to them, not needing to numb their reality in any way. Once I realised I could be happy and didn’t need this unhealthy coping mechanism, my life certainly changed for the better since stopping in 2018.
Of course, stopping or reducing your alcohol intake may change your lifestyle or relationships in some way but knowing you don’t need alcohol to cope helps you feel better about yourself. Those who truly love you will surely want this for you and who knows, it may help them choose more empowering behaviours too.
The self-awareness journey becomes no longer about numbing your thoughts and feelings with alcohol but about listening to the messages your thoughts and feelings provide. This is how your soul communicates with you. Your internal satnav for life and when you let go of alcohol, you can listen to your heart and are guided back to your authentic self.
Why not order the book to gain another perspective on alcohol or complete the journal prompts below?
Journal Prompts
- How does drinking add to my life?
- How does drinking alcohol sabotage me?
- What would be the top 5 reasons for giving up or reducing my alcohol intake?
- What would be my top 5 fears of giving or reducing my alcohol intake?
- How could I overcome these fears?
Why not check out Vale’s book today or contact me for mentoring to help you let go of the control alcohol has over you.