Whenever a client tells me they feel like they are ‘walking on eggshells’ around someone, I suspect a case of emotional manipulation.
This is when another person can change your mental and emotional state by what they say or how they behave. Unfortunately, partners, family, friends, children, and even some people in positions of power can emotionally manipulate. They use words, emotions, and behaviour to intimidate a person to behave in a way they want them to.
Sadly, this is a form of power and control, which is often rooted in the person feeling insecure about themselves and their abilities. If this is not nipped in the bud then this situation may progress and get worse.
It is important to build your own sense of self-respect. No one has a right to make personal attacks on you and your abilities.
Here are some steps to help you –
- Keep a diary of what happens and how you feel. It is important to have a record of specific examples so you can express how you felt at the time. This may make no difference to them, but it will give you validation that you are not imagining things.
- Think about how you would like the relationship to be. Is there any way in which you behave whih creates the dynamics?
- Think about having an honest conversation with the positive intent of resolving the challenges that will help the situation improve. Even if you don’t get the solution you seek, you will know you had the courage to try to resolve it.
- If you feel you cannot approach the person, as you are afraid, then this is where you need to believe that you have a right to be treated with respect by anyone. Read ‘Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway® by Dr. Susan Jeffers to help overcome your fears. If it is a work situation, you also may need to refer the matter to a member of your Human Resources team.
- This situation is about you finding the courage to take responsibility to resolve it, otherwise, it will probably continue. No one has a right to make you feel scared. Repeat ‘I have a right to be in a safe and respectful environment’.
- Take little steps to become more assertive. Remember you have a right to express how you feel. Google ‘Assertiveness’ and read ‘The Personal Bill of Rights’ which you will find on the Internet. These are excellent for helping you see you have a right to express how you feel.
Journal Prompts
- Who do I walk on eggshells around?
- Why do I do this?
- What would be an improved way to handle this situation?
- How can I become more assertive and meet my needs?
- How can I communicate how I feel to the other person?
The Spiritual path is a great way to become more assertive, why not explore it today. Contact me.